The standard instruction for protecting oneself from harm during a quake — standing under a doorway during an earthquake — seems like too little protection from a collapsing building.

‘A new anti-earthquake bed may be what you need. Not only does it allow you to sleep through the shaking, it is stocked with provisions to keep you well-fed until the rescue dogs smell your stale foods’ reported mysteriousuniverse.org.

‘The bed is the brainchild of Chinese inventor Wang Wenxi, who patented his first one in 2010. His original marketing video is pretty terrifying and probably caused many people to simply move out of earthquake zones rather than buy a bed that slowly folds over you into something that resembles a heavy-duty blanket fort.’

‘Wang Wenxi has obviously been improving his earthquake bed since 2010. His latest video shows a pretty sophisticated – albeit computer-generated – depiction of how his bed operates when an earthquake hits. This one swallows you much faster and appears to be based on something a magician uses to make his beautiful assistant disappear.’

‘This latest anti-earthquake bed offers a lot more protection than the earlier model, although its resemblance to a burial vault is a little disturbing. The bed itself, in its natural non-anti-earthquake state, doesn’t look too comfortable. If you’re worried about earthquakes, you’re already tossing and turning and don’t need a hard bed to add to the discomfort.’

‘Then there’s the little matter of positioning. It appears the optimal life-saving sweet spot is right in the middle of the bed. If you move around a lot while sleeping, you could find yourself on the edge when the quake hits. Instead of dropping safely into the container you could end up being catapulted out the window.’

‘Finally, the bed seems to be built for one. Married couples who feel the earth move under their feet will have to sleep in separate anti-earthquake beds and do their own earth-moving on the fold-out couch during non-seismic periods.’

‘There is no price or availability information on the Anti-Earthquake bed. If you’re worried about quakes, you may want to check out a titanium door frame.’